Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Trying to Find My Way

I returned to the Valley a week ago, and I am still trying to find my barrings. I am grateful for the amazing opportunities and people that I have encountered, but now it is time to move forward. In social settings I feel a somewhat removed, maybe because part of me is still thinking about DC, or perhaps its because everyone asks me the same questions like:

How was DC?
What are you going to do next?
Are you going to stay in Phoenix?

These are simple questions, but each of them I find difficult to answer. DC is hard to describe because it encompassed so much. When Josiah posed of how would I sum up my semester in DC, I replied "". In hindsight, that was kinda rude...Anyways, the other two questions are not difficult because they have long explanations, but because I am still trying to figure out the answers. Asking me those 2 questions is essentially asking me what am I going to do with my life, and right now I am just trying to find a job. I am hopeful, but also restless because for the moment I have no structure to follow. I went from being crazy busy to now having to create my own busyness. In a sense, I'm in a good place, but I have to set my heart like flint to seek after God, so that I am not running in circles for the next upcoming year. I have a lot of vision and passion, but I know that I have to add focus, discipline and confidence in the mix If I expect to get things done.

I know that God is calling me to greatness and I see greatness as:
1. Integrity with myself
2. Faithfulness to God
3. Service to others

So I pray that this will be the direction that my efforts will fall into.
I also hope that I will get busy working in the next week or so, because it is beginning to affect my psyche.

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